Masking the Internal

In pursuit of perfection it’s easy to lose grasp on reality. People often only see the external appearance of a family and family is often viewed as the most important thing to make viewed as perfection. When a marriage is going through turmoil the parents try to put on a persona to their children that everything is still intact. When a child struggles with an identity crisis they put on a persona for their parents so that they don’t see their child as anything less than perfect. In Fun Home, both of these personas’ were displayed in every page.

            Alison’s father struggled with trying to make his family be viewed as the perfect family even though he was a homosexual and family life was all a lie. Alison herself struggled with how to feel about the news that she herself was a lesbian. Alison’s mother struggled with trying to forget that her marriage was a sham. I almost feel the worse for her mother. Every day she was faced with the fact that not only had her husband had various affairs but in a small community she had no hope of having a new life. She instead throws her focus into her acting. “In a photo taken a week before the play opened, she’s literally holding herself together.” (Page 164) In the photo her eyes are sunken into her head and she has such a distraught face. It’s almost like the stress of the play’s opening was an excuse for her to show her true emotions about the stresses of her real life. Having to mask your disappoint in how your life played out is the hardest acting job.

Looking into Pictures

       With Fun Home being a graphic novel its impossible to not take substance away from the pictures. Bechdel decided to do the story of her childhood into adult life in picture form so that as readers we could be more enchanced in her story. Having the visual element helped me understand the horrors of all the times having to clean that giant marvalous house. When she spoke of her fathers quiet exterior, I see even in cartoons that his describution matches. Another reason why I think it being a graphic novel was benifical to Bechdel is because it created a flow in the text. Which without the picture element the text would be all over the place and we would be unaware if it was a flashback or current time.
       Something that puzzles me is if Bechdel thought the cartoon image of herself was a close resembalence. When I look on the back cover of the picture of Bechdel I feel as though she looks oddly remarkable like her cartoon. The sad eyes and the short hair cut are two similarities. But I have a feeling that the glasses were just left out so that the lens didn't consume the entire comic strip.
        Now that I have finished the novel I have learned the way in which Bechdel setup her texts around the comic strip. The text that is above the cartoons in Bechdel setting up the time and setting of the image. When theres bubble text its what the characters are saying aloud. When the bubble text has an arrow at the bottom when the text is in quotes that means that she is setting up whats going on in the scene. Like in (Page 225) "Heart and Soul" is the song in which Alison and her father are playing on the piano. And the way in which she describes her thoughts varies around the images. Having been my first graphic novel learning the way in which the text and images are both utilized is an important task for me.

Crew Cut Desires

                Fun Home by Alison Bechdel is the first graphic novel I have ever read. It took a little while to grow accustomed to the way in which I was suppose to read it. Fun home is a quick but difficult read. Bechdel uses a lot of words that I am completely unfamiliar with and struggle to put together there meanings. Though the idea of it being a graphic novel is intriguing because frankly who doesn’t love pictures, I just find that since the story doesn’t interest me the pictures can’t save it.

                Alison who is the main character and also the author speaks of her childhood upbringing. Her family was very estranged and Alison found herself to develop emotional problems especially in result of her father’s lack of emotional connection to her. Alison grew to have OCD symptoms and had a real difficult time trying to figure out who she was throughout her teenage years into her college years. Alison having revealing to her parent that she was a lesbian, even though she had yet to even experiment. Then found out that a few weeks later that her father mysteriously died. The term mysterious comes into accord because Alison and her mother believe that it was a suicide. While in the reports it simply just said that a truck had hit him. Alison’s father was a very troubled man; he himself was in a loveless marriage simply because he was gay and had various affairs. Alison believes that there was some connection in her father’s death to the suicide of his favorite author.

                Alison used information she found in books to piece together that she was a lesbian. But throughout the book there were various hints that not only was she one, but that both of her parents knew it all along. Even though it gravely upset her mother to find out she was gay, but her father only simply said that it’s healthy to experiment. Alison made herself out to be the stereotypical lesbian “I bought myself a present. (Swiss Army knife) A symbol of self-reliance? At any rate, it seemed like something a lesbian would have.” (Page 78) Alison attributed that she craved manly things because her father had craved for womanly things. Her father was obsessed with decorating, flowers and many other things that wouldn’t be deemed manly. “Where’s your barrette? It keeps the hair out of your eyes. Father says. Alison says, so would a crew cut.” (Page 96)

The End of the Butterflies

When a person fights for change, they do it in hopes of creating a better life for their loved ones. Love is the anchor in which no matter how far our dreams make us stray we come back. For the characters In The Time of the Butterflies freedom wasn’t just a dream. It was something that no matter the risk of death they were going to achieve freedom from under Trujillo’s horrible control. Throughout the book the details of the three sisters’ death seeped through the text. My only question that I was waiting to be answered was who was the last person listed in the memorial? Rufino ended up being the girls’ driver to and from their visits to see their husbands in jail. Rufino knew the risks that came with being the acting bodyguard of the Butterflies. Yet even when all of them had an eerie feeling about that visit and even through the smack in your face foreshadowing throughout the story, November 25^th 1965 was the day that the Mirabal sisters and Rufino lost their lives to the revolution.

                Manolo the husband of Minerva had taken on the presidential role as one of the big leaders of the revolution. With Minerva being his strong willed wife, Manolo became the voice of hope. Manolo used his voice to try and inspire all of those who had great losses in result of the revolution. Manolo a man who himself who suffered one of the greatest losses himself even continued to try and inspire others even in the wake of the lost of his beloved Minerva. “When you die for your country, you do not die in vain.” (Page 311) That was one of his signature signoffs of the rebel radio. I just wonder if he still really even believed that after the death of the butterflies. To what point do you keep fighting for change?

                I enjoyed this book, I couldn’t put it down. I wanted to know more. I wanted to get to the next chapter to hear the story from another’s sisters perspective. I thought the way that you were surrounded and embraced by each of the girls stories was so intriguing. How could you not mourn these hero’s after hearing the entire struggle they went through. And in the end they never even got to see the freedom they risks leaving their children orphans for. The real loss maybe the murders of Patria, Mate and Minerva but I feel the most grief for Dede. She was the one in the end who everyday had to suffer the consequences that came with the others risky lifestyles. She is the one whose marriage collapsed and who had to watch all the kids. Dede is the sister who never really got the chance to be on the frontline with her sisters. For when Dede was about to become involved the real task of having to put back the pieces of the family proved to be a harder task.  

Timeline for Mate

Maria Teresa  (Mate)

-Born 1935    She is eight years younger than her closest sibling Minerva.

-1945   Mate received her first diary from Minerva.

- February 18^th 1946   In school she lied for the first time for Minerva’s illegal activities.

                                                Learn the truth about the evil ways of Trujilo.

- July 23rd 1946   Had to bury her first diary because if in the wrong hands both her and   Minerva would be found guilty of being traitors.

- December 15^th 1953   Her father died

                                                Received a new diary from Minerva.

                                                            Meet her father’s other children at the funeral.

- July 3th   Graduated from her high school

                        Refused marriage proposals from both her cousins Berto and Raul.

- September 19^th   Leaves to go to the University in Capital with Minerva already there.

- April 28^th 1956    Named Queen of the University

- July 26^th 1957   Minerva moves out of housing with Mate and marries Manolo.

- September 7^th 1957    After Mate moved in with Minerva for summer session Minerva says Mate is the one who saved their marriage.

- September 28^th 1957   Meets Palomino after he delivers a package to Minervas house late in the night. The following day Mate learns of their involvement in the revolution and eagerly wants to be involved.

- October 14^th 1957  Moves into an apartment off campus with another girl in the revolution so they can receive packages of weapons. Named Mariposa #2.

- December 16^th   Mate and Palomino confess their love for each other. Palomino’s real name is Leandro Guzman Rodriguez.

- February 14^th 1958  Plans to get married to Leandro.

- In 1959  Have their first baby Jacqui

- March 16^th 1960  Has been impriosened for 55 days. Her and her two other sisters and the husbands are in jail for their political involvement.

                                    Received 3^rd diary that was snuck in for her by a guard.

- In August      Her and the sisters were released but the husbands remained imprison.

Foreshawdowing

    This book begins with intrigue, as a reader we see that the books main three characters are dead before we even read the first line. In the first chapter the only remaining sister who is alive after a "great tragedy" is Dede. In Dede's first chapter we see that she is forced to relive the story of her three sisters murders everyday for the rest of her life. Dede while doing a basic interview begins to have a flash back, in which it is the first time as a reader we get a little insight into the lives of the three sisters. Dede beings speaking with each girls personalities, their strong traits, ages and their dreams. Even from the second we start hearing about every girls personalities you get an overwhelming sense of how strong willed each one is, how strong each of their personalities are. And slowly the story of these four sisters begin to unveil itself.
     One of the sisters that I was immediately drawn to was Patria. For her story is one that is not only opposite of my own, but I feel like that she is going to be the character with the most excitement at the end of the story. The first words that we heard about Patria was "Sweet Patria, always her religion was so important... Always. Well almost always." (Page 6) That immediately sparked my interest. That is obvious foreshadowing that she may become a nun or there is some other completely different life path for her to take.
      In chapter four is the first time that we begin to her the story straight from Patria herself. Patria and her fellow sisters go to a boarding religious school so that Patria can inch closer to her dream of becoming a nun. Then as the story goes Patria falls in love with the idea of loving a man and she instantly refuses her calling into going into the sister hood. The sisters of the school had great faith that she too would become a sister. When having to tell them that she received the sign that the lifestyle wasn't for her she was still inspired by the faith. "I felt there was nothing to apologize for. At last, my spirit was descending into flesh, and there was more, not less, of me to praise God." (Page 49)
       Those two direct quotes in enough for me to think that down the line in the story something else comes into play with Patria's part of the story. For that I'm extremely now intrigued.

Breaking down icons

I’m going to do a break down of the characters or icons that Ensler depicts in the story Refuser. I do this simply because the first time that I read the text I was so overwhelmed with people and places that I didn’t know. When that happens the story then becomes useless because your missing out on the insight that the author intended for you to piece together.

-Pink Sari Gang- gang of woman found in 2006 who visit husbands guilty of domestic abuse and beat them until they stop beating their wives.

-Peshmerga Woman-army of Kurdish fighters

-Malalai Joya- Afghan politician who speaks out again warlords, the Taliban and the government.

-Rachel Corrie – member in Palestinian led organization to resolve conflict using nonviolent protests. Corrie was murdered trying to protect a home.

- Aung San Suu Kyi – leading the Burnmese Democracy Movement. Secretary of the National League for Democracy.

-Neda Soltani- protester who was murdered at a protest against the outcome of the 2009 Iranian presidential election. Neda Soltani is actually not her name its Neda Agha-Soltan.

-Simone Weil- French philosopher

-Bella Abzug- important women’s activist and member of the US House of Representatives.

-Ellen Johnson Sirleaf- elected President of Liberia in 2005

- Arundhati Roy- Indian Novelist best known for The God of Small Things.

- Rigoberta Menchu – indigenous Guatemalan who won Nobel Peace Prize in 1992

- Julia Butterfly Hill- activist who lived in a Redwood tree for 738 days to stop lumber factory from cutting it down.

            After all the research the Refuser truly makes sense to me. These women that are listed above are stories and icons that I truly never heard about before. My most resent re-read of the story was insightful and inspiring.

The Joke About my Nose

What makes someone relatable? Is it when you both share connected feelings on some kind of inner turmoil? Is being relatable when you see something in them that you see in themselves? The term relatable I find to be such a powerful idea. I look and listen when I feel as though someone senses my pain, and walks the same path that I too am forced to walk. When I read a book I don’t want to hear the whines of sad boo woo girl. I want to relate, feel some sense of the emotions they feel connected with their words.  

I still continue to dislike this book but I’m still looking for something in which I can convey something more than the same tired emotionless woe’s of teenage girls. I found myself enjoying the, The Joke about my Nose, a story of a girl in Iran. It was one of the first monologues in the book in which it wasn’t done in poetry form and the character actually brought imagery and emotion into the text.

“That’s the thing about being pretty. There are so many things you have to not do to be pretty. I mean it becomes your life. Not doing things. I stay pretty. I do pretty. I don’t eat. I pick. I circle. I visit. I deprive. I starve. Because I do not eat, I do not have much energy. Food actually makes your brain function. So pretty people move slower. They can’t do too much else……. Funny people can eat all they want. I used to love food. You can enjoy it ‘cause funny people enjoy everything.” (page 66)

                I think this is sadly hilarious. Ever since this girl got a nose job, that she herself didn’t want, she feels as though she lost her edge. This girl felt as though her having a big nose allowed her to make jokes and not feel other pressures that come along with people who aren’t completely comfortable with themselves. For a very long time I thought I was the funny girl, that since I was could make people laugh that I didn’t have to worry about things like the fact I never wore new clothes. Once someone losses an identity that they assimilated themselves with for such a long time they feel as though now they don’t know their real strengths. This girl was always beautiful, but could hide behind her nose in order to keep being funny because that was the identity she felt comfortable with. When someone forcibly takes away your identity, like her parents took away her nose, the adjustment period sometimes saddens you the most.

Tone in I am an Emotional Creature

In continuous motion after Eve Ensler’s other book The Vagina Monologues, we start I am an Emotional Creature. To be quite frank I do not like this book in the slightest. I feel as though Ensler lost her greatest strength, substance. I am an Emotional Creature has a great topic, in which it could be done in a very powerful well suited way, young teenage girls. But personally I don’t believe that the stories are unique enough or anything different then what the media consumes us with everyday.

             I feel as though the book takes a weaker tone. Yes of course young teenage girls are insecure and at times not very strong minded. But for what I have read already there has yet to be a text in which the young girl stands up for herself. Most of these girls are without will when it comes to their mothers and their own views. Ensler shows more or less that they are just rolling over to everyone else’s conceptions of them. When she should take this opportunity as a writer to create a book geared to young girls that empower them. Instead of making another teenage girl book that more or less just illustrates the already jagged view young girls have of themselves. In Bad Boys, “Mom wants me to be a model she weighs me every day she weighs herself twice a day. I started to make myself throw up just so my mother would leave me alone.” (Page 19) Being skinny maybe a societal expectation but this example just shows the girl just staying in the path, when Ensler should be making her empowered.  

            The tone of the book is really distracting to me. Ensler who had the past books’ characters be so strong and bold, now has a book in which the characters are lifeless. These young girls’ stories are sad and are important issues. But there is nothing distinctive that separates these stories from the thousands of others. There’s hundreds of books in which teenage girls are consumed with external and internal pressures but rarely any in which the consistent tone is empowerment. That is something revolutionary, which is something I was expecting from this book.